A little effort...

I always knew that when i became a mother i would go out of my way to try and make sure that my child was not a little monster obsessed with tv, video games etc but rather someone who appreciated and even enjoyed the great outdoors. Some of my fondest memories of childhood are the ones playing outdoor with friends and cousins, acting silly in our make believe adventures. Seeing young children constantly cooped up inside their homes, glued to their tv screens or playing virtual games with friends sends chills down my spine. It just seems like this generation is losing out on something very special. Unfortunately the culture of children that played outside is gone and children’s everyday life has shifted almost completely to the indoors. As a result, spontaneous contact with nature is a vanishing experience of childhood.

In the recent years a growing body of research has shown that the natural environment has profound effects on ones well being. However today, with children’s lives disconnected from the natural world, their experiences are mainly shaped through the media. It is the sad truth that the virtual is replacing the real. Children of today do not have the understanding that nature exists in their own backyards and neighborhoods, which further disconnects them from the knowledge and appreciation of the natural world. Having said all that, I do however understand that its not as safe as it used to be for children to be playing outside. In today's busy lifestyle there are many factors which contribute to children's lack of interaction with the natural world.

Nonetheless I still think that it is up to to the parents to make the effort and give their children an opportunity to explore and consequently love the natural world around us. There are so many little things we can do. For example family outings can be an opportunity to explore the great outdoors. I personally love picnics and walks in the summer. After a Sunday spent in a country park i always feel re energised. During winter months there are other places parents can take their children, local zoo, farms or botanical gardens are only some examples.

A few weeks ago the hubster and I took our little monster to the Syon Park tropical Zoo. I can honestly say that if not more, then i definitely had as much fun as my little munchkin. It was an amazing experience as we made it just in time for the zoo's daily show and tell session, where parents and children are allowed to hold/stroke some of the animals. The team at the zoo was super friendly, making parents and children feel very comfortable the whole time. Most of the animals at the zoo are rescued from the illegal pet trade, private collectors or zoos and you get to hear a little about their rescue stories, during the show and tell session. The munchkin did not want to leave the zoo, she fell in love with the rabbits and the snakes. My personal favourite were the chinchillas.

Here are a few pics of our adventure:

Heavenly

The hubster made me listen to this Adhaan a few days ago and i can honestly say that its the most beautiful adhaan i have ever heard. The voice is so powerful with amazing clarity in it. I can not stop listening to it and just wish there was a way i could hear this at home before every prayer...
Also amazing is the fact that this adhaan was performed in a church in Ottawa. It was part of a program to bring about peace and unity. People from different faiths were invited to gain awareness and become more tolerant of others religions and cultures. The adhaan (the Islamic call for prayer) was performed by a muslim student as to make people sense the beauty of the call.

Just remember...

"A moment of patience in a moment of anger prevents a thousand moments of regret.” Hazrat Ali.

This quote by Hazrat Ali is one of my favourites and i wish that it was something i was able to implement more strongly into my life. I am generally not a an argumentative person and more often than not i will try my utmost to prevent confrontations. However on the road of self-understanding i have come to recognise that as much as i try to avoid any sort of dispute with those around me, its the ones closest to me i often engage in arguments with. This has me thinking about whether i am merely admiring the words or have actually taken heed from this beautiful quote by a very wise man. For the last few days i have already started to hear about new years resolutions and can not help but think that it might be time to bring about some positive personal change.

I really believe that during moments of weakness, we cave in to the designs of our enemy, shaitan, who then consequently attacks in any way he can in order to divert us from God consciousness and makes us return to our animalistic nature. So anger by itself is not unnatural; rather history teaches us that many of our great prophets and our beloved prophet's Shahabas were often driven to feelings of anger. It is actually the way we conduct ourselves during this time which can lead to problems. The difference between the wild beasts and wild humans is the difference of free will. When a wild animal is provoked he does not think, whereas when a man becomes angry as a result of provocation, he has a choice to control his anger and respond to it as he has learned from the Qur'an and from Prophet Mohammad's (p.b.u.h) teachings. Thus wrongful actions of anger only take place when we are not in control of ourselves, but have in fact given up that control to the Shaitan.

Many of us have heard or read about the incident during the battle of khandaq when hazrat Ali (r.a) walked away from a man after overpowering him and when asked about it he simply replied that if he had killed him then it would have not been only for the sake of Allah (SWT) but also for the satisfaction of his anger.

During moments of anger when we let it take control of us our judgement gets clouded. I have always noticed that at times like these i end up saying the things that if thought rationally i would never utter. Someone very dear to me once told me that during these emotional moments our state is like that of someone standing amidst a whirlwind. Our vision gets blurred and this stops us from distinguishing even the most obvious of things.

Once a companion asked the Prophet (p.b.u.h), 'Give me some advice by virtue of which I hope for good in the life hereafter', and He said, "Don't be angry." Another person asked, 'what will save me from the wrath of God', and he said, "Do not express your anger." A third person asked, '0 Messenger of Allah, give me an order to do a short good deed', and he said, "Don't be angry."

To me this clearly shows that managing your actions while you are angry is something that is not easily done but rather is a hard task which has a lot of reward in it. To say that i will not be angry or get into situations where i find myself faced with confrontations or disputes is impossible and even naive to some extent. Rather, i believe i ought to control this feeling and do not let it lead me to that which is wrong and forbidden in our deen.

Alhumdulillah nothing in our beautiful deen is expected of us without us being given thorough advice on how to achieve it. Our beloved Prophet (p.b.u.h) has showed us how to conduct ourselves in times of anger. We are told that when angry, one should say "Audhu billahi minashaytan nirajim." [Bukhari, Muslim], or try to change his body position for example if he is standing, then he should sit, If the anger fails to subside, then he should lie down. [Abu Dawood One should also try to remain silent [Imam Ahmad]. Finally if none of the above work then one would be advised to make make wudhu. [Abu Dawood] and then make ghusl [Abu Nuaim]

I believe that personally for me, when i am really angry about something and am sitting around brooding over things, letting Shaitan mess around with my thoughts, the thing that would help me the most is to think of Allah. To think of Allah's anger and punishment, to forcefully remind my self of Allah's mercy and also His wrath. To think of what happens when He expresses His wrath? We humans who seek forgiveness from Allah must forgive others first.

This post is a personal reminder for myself, to work on something i believe will benefit me. I pray that Allah swt gives us all the understanding, the ability and the opportunity to direct all our actions for His sake. May we all learn to gain the pleasure of Allah through all our actions and may our imaan make us strong enough to fight our nafs and the shaitan continuously.

Last week friday i spent the evening stuffing my face, relaxing and chatting with my lovely brother and sisters. It's not often that we all get a chance to spend time together, especially with my sister living out at university, my brother being really busy and me living away but last Friday we just all happened to be around at my parents place and so ended up laughing and reminiscing for a few hours...

At some point suring this lovely evening the conversation steered towards some heavy topics and we started discussing the importance of faith in our lives. My brother then showed us this nice video which was a simple reminder of what can be expected when we start to lose focus of our ultimate goal and chase the duniya.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sscXrV1MrZY

It's such a simple story but i loved it.

So, i was thinking......

I was blog hopping a few days ago when i came across a brilliant post by a fellow blogger. In her post, the writer was discussing a little issue she was encountering with her young daughter about the importance of tidiness. I loved reading her account on how she tried to teach her daughter a valuable life lesson but somewhere amidst all the explaining and nagging she learnt some crucial skills.

Not only was this blog entry a really good read, it also made me dwell on a few parenting matters myself. I grew up in a household where the issues of tidiness always brought up conflicts. My sweetest mother is a very very neat, tidy and organized person to say the least, while my dearest father is a man who likes to take things easy. All through out my child hood i witnessed my mum clean up after my dad while he nagged her for 'misplacing' his stuff. Unfortunately for my mum all four of her children have more or less gone after her husband when it comes to this matter.She tried really hard with us kids to be tidy and organised but it wasn't meant to be. My mum still comes around to my house and 'tries' to organise my room. I myself feel that there are somethings that are innate, you can not drill them into a child no matter how hard you try and if you push to hard it can create barriers between you and your child. When i read this sisters blog entry it got me thinking whether i am in someways trying to make my daughter be a bit like me.

Even before Aaminah was born i was busy making plans about the way i would like to raise my child. I remember discussing sometimes important but mostly irrelevant things with hubby dearest, who used to stare back at me like i was an alien trying to convince him to marry me. I always knew i would like to raise my child in an Islamic house hold and try to implement the teachings of the Deen into my parenting from the day he/she was born. On the other hand, i am an opinionated person and thus have my likes and dislikes on matters which our Deen is quite lenient on. Small things where we as parents are able to make the decisions based on our own understanding of the world around us, for example how we allow our young children (those who have not yet reached puberty) to socialise, dress etc. Reading the above mentioned blog entry got me think about the choices i am making as a parent, and whether i am permitting my child enough room to blossom and shape her own personality within the bounds of Islam, or have i become one of those parents who are too scared and overprotective to allow their children any room to grow. I know and see that sometimes parents can go to either of the extremes.

I really believe that as parents we have to be careful. We have to provide a balanced and relaxed environment for our children. An environment where they are able to become individuals who are comfortable in their beliefs.

Finally, I pray to Allah swt to help me raise my child in the right way to only please Him and not for the sake of appreciation from my company or solely based on my personal views and experiences. I pray that when it comes to the Deen i am always able to be firm all the while allowing my child to be her unique self.

 Narrated by A'isha
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to me,
"O A'isha, be gentle,
for gentleness has never been used in anything without beautifying it;
and it has never been removed from something without debasing it."May Allah swt give us tauwfeeq to be gentle and just with our children.

A little something special

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6n8Q6KvSjk

Someone shared this absolutely amazing little lecture on facebook a few days ago. I myself have already listened to it about three times and even got dearest hubby to sit and watch it. Everything that the brother talks about is spot on. Just little things us parents should do, which can so easily be ignored but if implemented could help us build beautiful relationships with our children. Absolutely wonderful stuff.

I am really tempted to get the parents in the family together and make them watch this video... Hmmm, lets see how this can be arranged...

May Allah swt reward the brother for this beautiful little gem of a lecture.