Last week friday i spent the evening stuffing my face, relaxing and chatting with my lovely brother and sisters. It's not often that we all get a chance to spend time together, especially with my sister living out at university, my brother being really busy and me living away but last Friday we just all happened to be around at my parents place and so ended up laughing and reminiscing for a few hours...

At some point suring this lovely evening the conversation steered towards some heavy topics and we started discussing the importance of faith in our lives. My brother then showed us this nice video which was a simple reminder of what can be expected when we start to lose focus of our ultimate goal and chase the duniya.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sscXrV1MrZY

It's such a simple story but i loved it.

So, i was thinking......

I was blog hopping a few days ago when i came across a brilliant post by a fellow blogger. In her post, the writer was discussing a little issue she was encountering with her young daughter about the importance of tidiness. I loved reading her account on how she tried to teach her daughter a valuable life lesson but somewhere amidst all the explaining and nagging she learnt some crucial skills.

Not only was this blog entry a really good read, it also made me dwell on a few parenting matters myself. I grew up in a household where the issues of tidiness always brought up conflicts. My sweetest mother is a very very neat, tidy and organized person to say the least, while my dearest father is a man who likes to take things easy. All through out my child hood i witnessed my mum clean up after my dad while he nagged her for 'misplacing' his stuff. Unfortunately for my mum all four of her children have more or less gone after her husband when it comes to this matter.She tried really hard with us kids to be tidy and organised but it wasn't meant to be. My mum still comes around to my house and 'tries' to organise my room. I myself feel that there are somethings that are innate, you can not drill them into a child no matter how hard you try and if you push to hard it can create barriers between you and your child. When i read this sisters blog entry it got me thinking whether i am in someways trying to make my daughter be a bit like me.

Even before Aaminah was born i was busy making plans about the way i would like to raise my child. I remember discussing sometimes important but mostly irrelevant things with hubby dearest, who used to stare back at me like i was an alien trying to convince him to marry me. I always knew i would like to raise my child in an Islamic house hold and try to implement the teachings of the Deen into my parenting from the day he/she was born. On the other hand, i am an opinionated person and thus have my likes and dislikes on matters which our Deen is quite lenient on. Small things where we as parents are able to make the decisions based on our own understanding of the world around us, for example how we allow our young children (those who have not yet reached puberty) to socialise, dress etc. Reading the above mentioned blog entry got me think about the choices i am making as a parent, and whether i am permitting my child enough room to blossom and shape her own personality within the bounds of Islam, or have i become one of those parents who are too scared and overprotective to allow their children any room to grow. I know and see that sometimes parents can go to either of the extremes.

I really believe that as parents we have to be careful. We have to provide a balanced and relaxed environment for our children. An environment where they are able to become individuals who are comfortable in their beliefs.

Finally, I pray to Allah swt to help me raise my child in the right way to only please Him and not for the sake of appreciation from my company or solely based on my personal views and experiences. I pray that when it comes to the Deen i am always able to be firm all the while allowing my child to be her unique self.

 Narrated by A'isha
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to me,
"O A'isha, be gentle,
for gentleness has never been used in anything without beautifying it;
and it has never been removed from something without debasing it."May Allah swt give us tauwfeeq to be gentle and just with our children.

LOL moment

Every parent will tell you that when your bundle of joy starts to form words and then sentences it always results in a few hilarious LOL moments. I have noticed that these little joyous moments tend to occur mostly when you don't expect them to. For instance when the little munchkin has slightly annoyed you, you will most probably get an explanation that will simply melt your heart. Over the last few months we've certainly had our share of these adorable moments and yesterday night was no exception.

During Ramadan i did the unthinkable and let Aaminah sleep with us, in the hope that it will allow me to sleep a little longer in the mornings, which it did but now I'm stuck with a toddler who refuses to sleep in her own room (I'm picturing a lot of head shaking and tsks). Anyhoo yesterday night my dear Aaminah awoke around midnight because her father and i were talking (read shouting) too loud. After spending a lovely half hour with us, my husband dearest decided that it was time for him to sleep and instructed Aaminah and I to do the same, turned around and started snoring within 30 seconds. My poor kid first didn't understand what was happening around her, because she had always slept before her father and so had never heard his charming snores before. She tried hard to sleep for about an hour but the constant noise of snoring was too much much for the little soul, so she finally poked me and said 'Ammi please clean mezzis (Aaminah's special name for her dad) bogies, mezzis not breathing nice' (last week when she had caught a cold i kept telling her to blow her nose so she could breath better)...

A little something special

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6n8Q6KvSjk

Someone shared this absolutely amazing little lecture on facebook a few days ago. I myself have already listened to it about three times and even got dearest hubby to sit and watch it. Everything that the brother talks about is spot on. Just little things us parents should do, which can so easily be ignored but if implemented could help us build beautiful relationships with our children. Absolutely wonderful stuff.

I am really tempted to get the parents in the family together and make them watch this video... Hmmm, lets see how this can be arranged...

May Allah swt reward the brother for this beautiful little gem of a lecture.

LOVE IS........

...And among His signs is this, that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them; and He has put love and mercy between you. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. (30:21)


Years ago, i used to swoon over the cute little 'love is' comic strip but now come to think of it the adorable couple is quite inappropriate, always prancing around in their nude. Anyway, last week i was reminded of the comic strip on two separate occasions. :0)

LOVE IS....

running out of the kitchen hysterically to share the sweetest nectarine she has ever tasted, with him...

(i think this the only pic with the couple being dressed)

LOVE IS ...


still feeling very guilty, after four years of marriage, for not being able to offer her a lift due to a very important work meeting.



May Allah swt bless all Muslim couples with tranquility and love in their marriages, and help us all bring out the best in each other, Ameen...

Eid and so much more...

"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain the bonds of kinship." [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

I've had quite a hectic few days since my last update. With Eid preps, dearest hubby coming back from the masjid, family visits and a little flu that managed to get me and my little munchkin down for a day or two. However things have calmed down again, and Aaminah and I are enjoying a relaxing week at my mum's.

Eid was absolutely wonderful. We managed to have a lovely family gathering in a local hall, enjoyed delicious food together and the kiddies had lots of fun. Sadly my dad and one of our beloved family (my eldest sister in-law & kids) were missing and their absence was truly felt through out the whole day.

The munchkins eagerly opening their prezzies...

My lovely nieces, looking adorable...

Aaminah's beautiful dress, sent especially by her grand dad from Pakistan for Eid...

The kiddies seemed to really enjoy themselves with the aid of pinatas, presents and hilarious role plays. Strangely enough we somehow managed to find a very macho pinata donkey this time (courtesy of sis in-law #4). After taking a beating from all the kids it still managed to stay in one piece, which resulted in a hilarious turn of events, where all the adults were allowed to have a few swings at it. After about 20 minutes of bashing the poor donkey, i can't remember exactly who manged to end the donkey's suffering but the process was really fun while it lasted.

Aaminah and I probably had three times this many sweets on and around Eid day.

As the kids were busy enjoying their new presents and showing each other what they got as gifts, the adults even managed to have a little serious discussion. Dearest father in-law delivered a teeny tiny speech on the importance of family unity, which was really lovely and a great reminder of how lucky we all are to have each others love and support in this individualistic society.

''And those who break the Covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e. they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e. they will be far away from Allah's Mercy), and for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e. Hell) .''
( Ar-Rad, Chapter #13, Verse #25)

Apart from the lovely Eid gathering, it was really good to have my dearest hubby back at home. Despite the hecticness we managed to spend a few hours together, chatting, catching up and discussing how we had spent the last ten days of Ramadan.

Aaminah's api bo (hubby's sis) stayed with us for the last few days leading up to Eid, which made the waiting so much easier. The kids kept Aaminah really happy while api bo and I managed to do all the Eid shopping together. Nearly everyday we stayed up till the early hours of the morning doing ibadah and taking breaks to make eid cards and pack all our presents. Eid wouldn't have been the same without them.

On the 27th eve of Ramadan Api bo sent her ten year old son to the masjid to spend the night with his uncles who were observing itikaaf. My poor nephew reluctantly agreed as he was too shy to say no to his mom in front of yours truly. But then something amazing happened, when he returned from the masjid with his grandfather and thirteen year old cousin, both boys asked their mothers if they could observe itikaaf for the last three days with my husband and his older brother. MashaAllah the whole family is really proud of them both and i can't explain how exciting it was to have so many of our boys coming back from the masjid on the last eve of Ramadan...

With so much enjoyment and spending time with the family, i have been thinking about all the things Allah swt has blessed my life with. Most importantly i am so thankful for having an amazing family and beautiful relationships all around me. While Sai was in masjid my sister Maryam came to stay with us for a few days, as she knew we were a bit lonely. The day after she left our beloved api bo and co came to stay for a few days. I can't thank Allah for blessing me with such loving sisters, brothers, both sets of parents, nephews and nieces. Can't help but make a million duas that Allah swt always keeps us this way, with our hearts filled with love and respect for each other and always united.

My BFF

''The company of a good friend is like an owner of musk; if you don’t buy anything, you will get the smell of it. The company of a bad friend is like the blacksmith’s bellows; if you are not affected by its black dirt, you will be touched by its smoke.''
Prophet Mohammed (p.b.u.h)

For the last few years, my hubby dearest has been observing itekaaf (secluded retreat in a mosque, for a certain number of days)in the last ten days of every Ramadan. Before i got married, i had heard of people observing this practice, but almost all of them were people of old age who had hardly any worldly responsibilities left. Most these people were free from the burden of jobs, young children, schools or universities. However, the Ramadan after our dua-e-khair (Islamic equivalent of engagement), i heard that Mr. Ali Sufian Khan will be observing itekaaf that year. I remember my initial reaction being that of slight horror becuase i thought that my future husband might be trying to impress us with a show of piety. And i remember praying to Allah to save me if that was the case. Luckily for me, not only was my future husband far from a show off, i soon realised that he will become my guiding light. I found out that he had been observing itekaaf for quite a few years, a practice which he has continued with, even after our marriage.

In the last four years every time he leaves me for itekaaf, i get stranded with a mix of emotions. I always feel proud, seeing his car leave our drive way for the masjid, but i also feel a horrible pang of sadness as i realise that for the next ten days i will be deprived of my best friends company. Like all previous years, this Ramadan has brought me the same pride and sadness. Nonetheless this year, a little conversation on the iftaar table after hubby left, has me thinking about the importance of the right company. As we sat enjoying our iftaar on saturday my mother-in-law asked my father-in-law whether he had seen my husbands friends when he went to drop him off at the masjid. This question led me to think about my husbands friends cricle and the general comapny he keeps. I realised that all his close friends are young practicing Muslims. Young men who have played a significant role in the way my dearest husband has turned out today. I see how finding his best friend in university kept him grounded, because they both could keep each other in line. As for me, even though i have always been blessed with amazing friends, i haven never looked out to find practicing friends but for some reason beyond me, Allah has been to kind on me, as he has blessed me with a spouse who not only filled the void of practicing friends in my life but rather took on the role of a a guide too.

Over the last four years i have learned so much from Sai (a nick name used by only the closest women in my husbands life). He has been the most amazing teacher, and a sincere friend and my heart is full of duas for him. As we continue to grow together I have learned many important life lessons from my dearest husband. And recently, through him i have come to recognise the importance of good company and how it can turn lives around. I have also learned that practicing ones religion is not something to be safeguarded and kept hidden as a hobby for old age. Rather it is something that one lives with through out the course of a life time.

For now, Aaminah and i are patiently waiting for Eid and most importantly for our favourite person to come back from the masjid on the last eve of Ramadan, with his spirits high and engulfed in an aura of peace. We even have a little calendar on our notice board counting off the days left till we see him again :)))