My BFF

''The company of a good friend is like an owner of musk; if you don’t buy anything, you will get the smell of it. The company of a bad friend is like the blacksmith’s bellows; if you are not affected by its black dirt, you will be touched by its smoke.''
Prophet Mohammed (p.b.u.h)

For the last few years, my hubby dearest has been observing itekaaf (secluded retreat in a mosque, for a certain number of days)in the last ten days of every Ramadan. Before i got married, i had heard of people observing this practice, but almost all of them were people of old age who had hardly any worldly responsibilities left. Most these people were free from the burden of jobs, young children, schools or universities. However, the Ramadan after our dua-e-khair (Islamic equivalent of engagement), i heard that Mr. Ali Sufian Khan will be observing itekaaf that year. I remember my initial reaction being that of slight horror becuase i thought that my future husband might be trying to impress us with a show of piety. And i remember praying to Allah to save me if that was the case. Luckily for me, not only was my future husband far from a show off, i soon realised that he will become my guiding light. I found out that he had been observing itekaaf for quite a few years, a practice which he has continued with, even after our marriage.

In the last four years every time he leaves me for itekaaf, i get stranded with a mix of emotions. I always feel proud, seeing his car leave our drive way for the masjid, but i also feel a horrible pang of sadness as i realise that for the next ten days i will be deprived of my best friends company. Like all previous years, this Ramadan has brought me the same pride and sadness. Nonetheless this year, a little conversation on the iftaar table after hubby left, has me thinking about the importance of the right company. As we sat enjoying our iftaar on saturday my mother-in-law asked my father-in-law whether he had seen my husbands friends when he went to drop him off at the masjid. This question led me to think about my husbands friends cricle and the general comapny he keeps. I realised that all his close friends are young practicing Muslims. Young men who have played a significant role in the way my dearest husband has turned out today. I see how finding his best friend in university kept him grounded, because they both could keep each other in line. As for me, even though i have always been blessed with amazing friends, i haven never looked out to find practicing friends but for some reason beyond me, Allah has been to kind on me, as he has blessed me with a spouse who not only filled the void of practicing friends in my life but rather took on the role of a a guide too.

Over the last four years i have learned so much from Sai (a nick name used by only the closest women in my husbands life). He has been the most amazing teacher, and a sincere friend and my heart is full of duas for him. As we continue to grow together I have learned many important life lessons from my dearest husband. And recently, through him i have come to recognise the importance of good company and how it can turn lives around. I have also learned that practicing ones religion is not something to be safeguarded and kept hidden as a hobby for old age. Rather it is something that one lives with through out the course of a life time.

For now, Aaminah and i are patiently waiting for Eid and most importantly for our favourite person to come back from the masjid on the last eve of Ramadan, with his spirits high and engulfed in an aura of peace. We even have a little calendar on our notice board counting off the days left till we see him again :)))

Dil Dil Pakistan

So it was Pakistan's independence day yesterday.... Woohoo Go Pakistan, 1947-2011, baby. Rockstars. Ahhh but please keep it together so it can be a couple more decades, eh?

On a serious note, I guess it would be really easy to take a few minutes and start bashing the existence of pakiland and it's current state but for some odd reason i really don't feel like doing that. I know enough to really get me worried for the sanctity of this beloved country of mine but just for now i would like to ignore all that and concentrate on all that makes me proud of being a Pakistani.

My fondest memories of 14th august are of the few years we spent living next to my paternal grandmother's place in Wahh Cantt. I distinctly remember preparing for independence day in advance with my aunts and older cousin, buying large flags and bunting to decorate the house. I remember feeling so proud of my cousin because he was old enough to take part in the firework display on our street. I remember seeing green everywhere and every one's happy and pride filled faces. I remember making independence day cards at school. I remember the national anthem being repeatedly played on the TV and the patriotic national songs, ohh i used to love those, i still get the strongest sense of nostalgia whenever i hear one playing somewhere.

It's strange but having only lived the first 10 years of my life in Pakistan, it still feels more home than most other places i have lived. I miss Pakistan a lot and its such a blessing that hubby dearest also spent the first ten years of his life in Pakistan, because it means we can reminisce together and drag each other in and out of deep nostalgic trances.

There are a million things i miss about Pakistan and our short trips back home don't give us the chance to relive those. It's probably a blessing, because i am sure that childhood experiences are too pure and precious to be relived again. However, even though thinking of Pakistan and all that it means to me brings bitter sweet memories flooding back and plants a huge smile on my face, there is one aspect of it all that makes me quite sad. I just find it such a loss that all that all the cultural experiences i am able to share with my loved ones, i will not be able to share with my daughter. To Aaminah Pakistan will never hold the same meaning as it did for me... However, i do hope to teach her and show her what a great country her parents came from and why all the sacrifices our forefather made sixty four years ago, were well worth it. I hope that she is able to grow up and feel a sense of belonging to a country that gave me an identity to be proud of.

Finally, lots and lots of duas for the sovereignty of this beloved country that didn't come cheap 64 years ago...

Welcome

Hi and welcome to my blog. I have decided to start this blog to demonstrate my craziness, voice my insignificant opinions and share my irrelevant random musings. So if you have spare time that you do not mind wasting, then sit back, relax and read.

On a slightly more serious note, i couldnt tell you why exactly i have created this blog but i am hoping it will start to become clearer to me once it gets going.

Ohhh and thank you sooo much for stoping by... :)))